Hard Lessons

Some days don't go as planned.  I feel like I've said that a lot lately.  When parenting kids 5 and under, you will have many days that will get hijacked by strong wills, sad behavior, and frustration.

My mother and I decided to buy each other a spa day for Mother's Day.  My dad was supposed to watch my girls while we went, but he got called in to work.  So the girls had to go with us.  Not the most relaxing spa day ever.

When it was our time to get pedicures, my eldest asked for one as well.  They were booked so she couldn't.  This caused the biggest, longest fit she has ever thrown!  I was shocked.  She is strong willed and stubborn, but never like this.

She yelled "what about my toes? why don't you want me to have pretty feet too?"  My feet were soaking in the jet tub already and we were waiting on the ladies to come start their work.  We waited for 20 minutes while she screamed and we tried to reason with her, offer alternatives, etc.  Finally I got up with feet soaked and took her to the car. I was hoping to dry off my feet and legs, but she wasn't stopping.

I left my mother and my chill toddler in the spa and went to get dinner.  All the while trying to calm her down and get through to her.  It wasn't happening.

We picked my mother and toddler up, went home.  Still screaming.  We had a birthday party we were going to attend that night that I threatened to cancel.  She kept on.  I had to follow through.  No birthday party.  Which hurt me too.  I hadn't seen these friends in months and was really looking forward to it.

She screamed more.

This lasted 5 hours.  She has been the master of fits before but NEVER this long.  I was exhausted just trying to talk her down.

We tried every strategy.  It was awful!  She could not let it go.

She finally gave up the fight.  Then asked, "can we go to the birthday party now?"  Sorry little girl, not happening.  Fresh tears, but less dramatic.

It was an afternoon of hard lessons.  Lessons in consequences, lessons in follow through, lessons in effective discipline.  We learned that we don't always get our way and we need to be ok with that.

At the end of the day we were able to talk more openly about why this was a bigger issue than it needed to be.  It was also setting the stage for one of the most intense spiritual battles we would face in the coming weeks. More on that later.

Grateful and blessed by these lessons, no matter how hard.

Art of Marriage

Last month we attended a small marriage conference at our church.  We went in with somewhat defeated spirits.  The move and all the turmoil of the past few years had left us battle weary.

So many obligations, so many time consuming events, so many times we missed out on each other.

We hoped this time would refocus us on what was most important.  God first, then our marriage, then our kids. The great hierarchy of family.  First things first.

It absolutely did.  Lots of wonderful conviction and practical advice in how to love, honor, and respect one another.

Some of my favorite takeaways:
You married "the one".  If you married them, they are the one.  There isn't any "oh well, they aren't who I thought they were, I guess they aren't the one."  It is a daily intention to put them first and to fight for your marriage.

Praying for your spouse, with right intention, is the most powerful thing you can do for them.  Once I started viewing myself as my husband's first line of defense, it changed my perspective on prayer for him.  Also, the intention behind the prayer is important.  Not "God get them cause look at how they are flawed", but "God help my heart to be strong and help their heart to be one with You."  Powerful stuff!

Sometimes all you need is a little refresher course to give you back the vision of your marriage.  We are very thankful for this ministry!  If you have the opportunity to attend one of these or a Weekend to Remember in your area, we highly recommend it!